The big moment has finally arrived.  It’s finally that time for all your hard work to pay off and for your wildest dreams to come true – you’ve earned it after all.  You’ve dedicated countless hours, sacrificed a ton and threw in your blood, sweat and tears (literally) into the thing you’re about to try and hopefully win…and you blew it.  You lost, again.

 

Why does this keep on happening?  How did I not deserve this?  Is this ever going to happen?

Without fault, in come the thoughts and emotions of the dreaded “shouda, coulda, woulda”

Ugh…

 

I feel like there’s more happening here than we’re led on to believe. We should probably think bigger, we have to be missing the point.

 

I honestly feel as though we’ve allowed society to dictate the way it needs to be and there isn’t much wiggle room to argue.  But there’s got to be more going on here, I’m sure of it.  We should probably allow ourselves to dig a little deeper on this monumental subject of everyday people striving and falling just short and being labeled as “losers” because of it.

 

Did we all miss the memo on being alive or history overall?  That one on having goals and those inspiring individuals who achieved their dreams and made a good life and future for themselves by listening, hoping and having the audacity to actually try?

 

I didn’t.  And I’m starting to wonder if maybe I should feel good about the times where life…or the voices in my own head, point and laugh at all the times that I’ve “failed” in my attempts of putting myself out there, following my dreams and striving towards these aspirations that cannot (and should not) be ignored.  I can’t help but think that I should probably start laughing a bit more also – it might actually be quite funny how often this happens and still I don’t embrace the memo.  But also, that I might be in good company.  This might be some sort of lesson that I wasn’t paying close enough attention to and maybe we all need to be reminded of a thing or two…

 

 

There’s this story I love in the book “Warrior of the light” and it goes like this:

 

A warrior of the light knows that certain moments repeat themselves.

 

He often finds himself faced by the same problems and situations, and seeing these difficult situations return, he grows depressed, thinking that he is incapable of making any progress in life.

 

“I’ve been through all of this before,” he says to his heart.

 

“Yes, you have been through all of this before,” replies his heart.  “But you have never been beyond it.”

 

Then the warrior realizes that these repeated experiences have but one aim: to teach him what he does not want to learn.

 

 

In no way do I feel like we should bash ourselves in the attempts of trying due to “failing” or “losing” at any time – yet we all do it.  And especially not when we are probably the closest to our goals or dreams – (I know you feel it.)

 

Trying – means we had the courage to act and to create something out of absolutely nothing with hopes, faith and determination among other things.

Trying – means that you ignored those impulses to quit even when it hurt or when you were tired or it got hard.

Trying – means that you finally listened to the best part of yourself and started a thing that you, or others, imagined that you could never or would ever do.

 

The act (or art) of trying ANYTHING means that all of these: “winning and losing”, “failure and success”, “victory and defeat” – are directly within our grasp, even the vital ones that we weren’t thinking about – appreciation, joy and love.

 

And those hidden gems that we were missing all together…

 

Growth

Hope

Wisdom

Peace

Patience

Prosperity

 

 

Games, competitions or life overall…Somehow, somewhere we got it all wrong – winners and the dreaded “losers”.  Hmm…Losers?  Really?

 

”Losers” is the wrong way to frame it.

 

There should never be a loser in life if you came and tried your best – at anything, ever.

 

We should probably call it “see ya later” or “until the next time”.  Have you ever paid attention to the work that people put in when they don’t succeed in the thing they were pursuing? It’s ridiculously inspiring.  We should probably focus on the story within the story (nudge, nudge).  Sure, the winner is fun to watch but the real stuff comes when a person digs deep and finds the courage to keep going.  The good part starts flowing when that same person gets back on that path and remembers that voice inside of all of us…and that it never left them.  The beauty happens when we listen to that voice.

 

These same people are the ones whose stories sent vibrations throughout the universe.

 

These are the ones who improve upon their technique, way of living and outlook on everything because of it.

 

They’re the little girls who help their classmate who fell and that everyone is laughing at.

They’re the mothers who beat cancer.

They’re the fathers raised without one yet blow the doors off it once their time comes.  

They’re the ones whose stories Oscar movies are built and won upon. 

They’re all your favorite athletes, artists and everyday people who refuse to be labeled a “loser”. 

 

They never quit.

 

The same ones whose stories are all the sweeter because of their triumphs and they invite all of us to do the same.  They’re the ones who strive to make this a better place.  And by accepting their invitation, we just might start doing just that.

 

 

The only time we ever come close to “losing” is by never trying.

 

And even then, we haven’t lost, per se.  There is still time to get started.

 

When anyone, anywhere tries and “wins” or “loses” – both should be celebrated, even the loser.

 

“See ya later” should remind his or herself that they’ll be back.  This just got started and it’s all an opportunity to make their story all the greater because of it.  This person now has the perfect stage set for their story to be told long after they’re gone.  Participating invites, engages and fulfills us in ways we never imagined.

 

“Until next time” now has the perfect opportunity to etch their name in with history’s great names – those inspiring people who never quit.  The _____________’s of the world.

 

(I’ll let you fill in the blanks on this one.  No one knows you better than you.)

 

So go ahead and have the courage to keep (or start) trying even when life tells you no. 

 

Keep at that diet when all you want is a donut.  Don’t quit hitting the new gym filled with nothing but models – your body is screaming thank you and might just surprise you.

 

Just breathe when you’re fuming at that person who said the perfectly wrong thing…again – Of course playing that same tired game of hitting below the belt “would’ve” been good and you probably “could’ve” or “should’ve” said that…but killing them with kindness could probably invite you both to a newer and better way.

 

Keep dancing with life to stay on beat with your goals.  Keep listening to that voice when it presents opportunities to follow your dreams.  Go ahead, you deserve it – Because there will come a day when you look back on it all and thank yourself for never quitting.

 

This just might be part of the process and could make for a really, really good story.

 

 

And just so that we’re clear…

 

In no way, shape or form am I trying to make myself or anyone else think that there is anything wrong with winning anything – there isn’t.  It’s lovely and is a beautiful damn thing!  If a person  trains, practices, studies or prepares and is involved in any sort of competition, event or test?  That requires a certain amount of dedication, preparation and discipline.  And if one achieves the well-earned success that they’ve been striving for?  Well then that just takes that celebration and joy of it all up a few notches.  Go ahead and enjoy that…

 

*Tips hat*